letting things out.. over stress...how do i feel...n y understnding me is difficult

letting things out.. over stress...how do i feel...n y understnding me is difficultShare

ME>33
Just because i have been quiet all this while, dosen't mean i dont have anything to say, its just that i don't want to waste my time saying it because no wont will ever understand. If I do judge people from my first impression on them, well that is how everybody will judge. I do rather wait forever for the perfect somebody to show me the perfect life, than settle for anybody who don't really have an idea who I am now. i have been unpredictable and spontaneous at times but it has help me to understand life better. In a way, i thoght I am a forgiving person but i realise its hard to forgive and forget and i have finally understand why is that now.
If i just enjoy being unique or wired dosen't make me childish because it makes me happy to go on. I do rather look immatured or over matured and just have fun than rather care what other people think about me or what they are going to say about me.Sometimes i can really be over confident, other times i just feel really insecure but for me its normal and isn't a crime to feel such a way.
My family, friends and my student means everything to me but some times i just want to be alone just to figure out myself who I want to be. i sometimes envy to see people who can fit in so easily n have an easy life without even working hard to be somewhere, when i have been trying with all my strengh to just help out my love ones to make life better. i really hope that sometimes these people who i care so much can just understand mefor why i do this.
I am opinionated and stubborn, but i am loyal, sincere and caring at times because i dont like showing feeling because it is not necessary. But i have promise myself to be the best if i choose to be in something in my life and whoeva who comes in to my life should want the best for me. Even if i can be the most annoying person.
just please stop making me fel guilty. I really hate it when someone makes me feel guilty to get their way in things, just give me a chance because i m really trying hard to not let anybody down. As who i am, i will always be the same person who i was eventhough things has change and i will still be there if you need me, i will listen if i have too, i will let out problems in me to make you understand, i will be as understanding as i can for thats all i can do, and maybe stick up for anything which comes in my way no matter what happen.

MAkiNg cHoiCes....

people might think i m going mad. but i jt dunno why there are so many of choices in this world.i never knew making one will be so difficult. i never had problems choosing and making a decision when it came to shopping buying shoes or my food or even my ice cream flavour but i now it is making me stress to actually make decision in work.. is it because the money is blinding me..but in a way i am not doing anything wrong..i m using it for all good purpose to give a helping hand to my family and to pay up myself without being too dependent on parents cause i m 21..for me 21 is abt taking responsibilities of yourself like my expense, my studies, my entertaiment n blah blah...

Waking up in the morning today with my mind so unpeacefull cause of un made decision running thrugh my head. I couldn't even stop thinking of it when i was brushing my teeth. i was figuring n calculating on my mindwhat i m gonna do, how much i will get n how m i gonna fit in with classes n tuition n all other things. Thinking about last night and the choices i hv to make today morning is stressful cause i m not able to think right on what to do and what to say to my teacher at work and see the importance of it specially my studies because both means a lot to me. i wish someone can make decision for me like how when i was small my parents did but now all my parents say is "ur big enough to know what is right ma"

i was still wondering what i need to do till lunch time but something jt help me to think more like a fantasy story said by some1wise to help people, this is mayb jt a small decision to be made from other bigger decision that i hv to make in the future. it can be stressfull with problems occuring in you making you feel guilty or however but its maybe jt a test to from god to see how you manage it.. though i dont believe so much in god but mayb this is how it works..n there is solution to it..it depends how u gonna take a step foward to solve it face it.

i discovered one thing today, that our lives are made up of choices that we hv to make, sometimes you make the right 1 n sometime the wrong 1 but remember to always stay POSITIVE, because no matter how bad things are now, life can always change for the BETTER, though its difficult to chosse because there are many choices, but it has to be done because there are bigger decision out there compared to mine.. and if they can make one, so can i, all i hv to do is do it n dont regret